


No light, but rather darkness visible

by kitlee625



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Dark Ward, Gen, Grant Ward Is A Villain, This is not a Ward redemption story, villain Ward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2014-07-16
Packaged: 2018-02-09 04:12:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1968564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitlee625/pseuds/kitlee625
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The mind is its own place, and in itself<br/>Can make a heav'n of hell, a hell of heav'n."</p><p>Ward thinks about what led to him being thrown in prison, and where he goes from here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No light, but rather darkness visible

**Author's Note:**

> The title and the quote in the summary come from "Paradise Lost" by John Milton. 
> 
> Warning: This is not a Ward-friendly story. It isn’t violent and includes only the vague mention of torture, but it does not paint Ward in a positive light. If you are looking for a redemption story, this is not it. If you do not want to read such a story, please don't.

When he arrives at the prison he is first taken to a prison infirmary. After a CT scan, the physician announces that he is medically clear except for a mild fracture of the larynx. It does not need surgery, but he is kept for 48 hours observation in the infirmary, handcuffed to the bed with ankle cuffs attached to the wall. The infirmary staff must have heard something of his reputation because, despite the restraints, they looks wary as they tend to him.

He considers all possible means of escape but rejects each one. The medical staff do not pose a serious threat to his escaping, but even if he were to break out, he has no idea how to break out of the facility or where to go if he did.

After two days the medical staff allows him to drink clear liquids, and when he tolerates them, he is taken to his cell.

*****

His cell is small, just large enough to hold a cot, a toilet, and a sink. There are no windows, nothing except four walls and a door with a narrow slot at the base through which they shove a food tray three times a day. 

The first few days he fills his hours with push ups, sit ups, and other exercises. It feels good to be moving again after two days chained to a bed, and with Coulson’s promise of torture, he needs to be ready for anything.

He is familiar with a myriad of torture techniques, but Coulson’s comment about internal torture puzzles him. S.H.I.E.L.D. scientists have been trying for years to create a device that directly manipulates the mind to cause pain or read memories, but to his knowledge the only one of its kind is the prototype that Garrett had stolen and used on Coulson. He doubts the US military has access to such advanced technology. He tries to clear his mind and sleep as little as possible in case they drug or torture him while he is asleep. But days go by and nothing happens. 

*****

He is doing jumping jacks one day to keep himself awake when it hits him. Isolation is his punishment, his internal torture. He laughs. If they think that Grant Ward is weak enough to break because he does not have a friend to talk to, they are sorely underestimating him. That night he lets himself sleep as long as he likes.

*****

It is a while before they get around to interrogating him for Hydra information. He expects them to come at him with everything they have - waterboarding, hypnotic drugs, electrical shocks. They know that he is a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. Even the lowest level one agent is trained to resist torture, and he is one of the finest specialists they have. 

As they march him to the interrogation room, he reminds himself that no matter what happens, he cannot give them any information. Garrett died fighting against a corrupt S.H.I.E.L.D., and Ward cannot let the weakness inside him make that death be in vain. The thought of seeing Coulson again twists his stomach into knots. Coulson had killed the one person in the world who had ever done anything for Ward. The thought of seeing him again makes his blood boil, but he calms himself with the thought that he had bested Coulson and his team once before. He can do it again.

He is disappointed to find that the man interrogating him is not Coulson, but another soft man in a suit.

“Grant Ward. Take a seat.”

Ward continues to stand. If they want him to sit, they are going to have to break his legs. The interrogator though ignores his protest and rummages through his folder.

“How are they treating you?”

Still no reply. He is going to have to try harder than a nice word or two before Ward betrays Garrett.

“I want to ask you a few questions about Hydra.”

Ward almost laughs. The interrogator is even less skilled than Coulson. Coulson at least had some skill in manipulating a target. This man is more like Eric Koenig. Weak. Stupid. If he were not chained to the floor he would make his escape now. He may not know where they are or how to escape, but if this is the kind of agent that the US military sends against him, he has no doubt that he can overcome them.

The interrogation lasts several hours, but Ward does not say a single word. He uses the time to plan out how he can use these interrogations to escape. The next time they take him, he will be ready. But they never try to interrogate him again.

*****

Solitude does not bother him. He spent most of his teenaged years alone, and even when surrounded by people at S.H.I.E.L.D. academy and on S.H.I.E.L.D. missions, he has never been able to get close to anyone. 

He tries to keep his mind busy, focusing on language drills and the few exercises he can do in such a small space. But at night, lying in the dark, he cannot help but think about everything that led him to this cell. The unfairness of it all burns in his chest. How could they not understand that it was just a mission? That it was nothing personal.

May might pretend to be a cold-hearted specialist, but inside she is as weak as the rest of them, letting her emotions get the best of her. He could not believe his luck when she had opened her hotel door for him, and seeing her rage against Quinn when Skye was shot was further proof proof of how vulnerable she really is. He had tried to take advantage of that, push in deeper, but he had underestimated her pathetic devotion to Coulson. 

Coulson. The man who believed that so many nobodies deserved second chances - Mike Peterson, Akela Amador - but refused to see the truth about Ward. Garrett was the true victim here, and Ward had just done what was necessary to protect him. If Coulson had just given up the secrets of GH-325 during his kidnapping, none of the rest of it would have been necessary. Garrett would be alive today, and Ward would still be on the team with Skye.

He clenches his fists in frustration and resists the urge to punch the wall. He hates Skye for awakening this desire in him. At first getting close to her was just part of his mission, an attempt to gain control of her so he could use her against Coulson. But somewhere along the line his feelings for her became real. He should have eliminated her a long time ago - like Buddy, like he tried to do with FitzSimmons - before she could corrupt him with this weakness. Now it is too late. It is her fault for making him want her and then refusing to give herself to him.

*****

Thoughts of the team invade his dreams, and he wonders if the military has been lacing his food with a drug to make him go psychotic. He stops eating for a few days, but the dreams continue. They are always the same - Skye’s face mocking him, calling him pathetic, weak, and evil. He tries to convince her otherwise, but Coulson is always there, keeping her away from him.

Finally one night he murders Coulson and takes Skye away. Once they are alone together, he awakes the darkness inside her until she begs for his forgiveness. She promises never to leave him again, and together they seek revenge on everyone who has wronged him.

After that he does not care if the military is drugging him to make him have the dreams. He eats all his food and waits eagerly for sleep because the dreams are the only thing that gives him purpose.

*****

He loses all track of time. Weeks pass, or is it months? Years? The team does not come see him, and he wonders why they are staying away. Is this another battle of wills? How can they act like he was not important to them? Like he did not worm his way into each of their hearts.

He wonders if anyone will ever come for him.

*****

He is halfway through his daily routine of push ups when he hears gunfire in the hallway. He hops up and takes a defensive stance just as the door blows open to reveal Raina.

“What are you doing here?”

She gives him one of her enigmatic smiles. “Thought I’d return the favor.”

He does not lower his fists. “Why?”

“You and I want the same thing. If we work together, we have a better chance of getting it.”

“And what’s that?”

“Skye.”

Ward smiles. “Let’s get out of here.”


End file.
